Cascade Premium Light

Total Score: 3.9/10 Barley1 Corn1 CutGrass1 PokalStange1

Call it blatant box ticking but one of the styles I have yet to review on BeerAdvocate is Light Lager – Cascade, I’m looking at you. Actually if I were sucked into some alternate universe where the only beers available were Light Lagers Cascade Premium Light wouldn’t be looking too bad at all. I mean I have had it before (at a party – I had exhausted my own supply of Coopers Best Extra Stout and a friend offered me a Cascade Premium Light) I recall it being a very grainy Aussie beer, with water added, and disappointing – but hey it’s hard to please a person with a Light beer after they’ve polished off a sixer of Old Uncle Coopers Best Extra.

Poured from a 375ml bottle into an Aussie pub schooner glass (the one I didn’t “borrow” from the local pub).

A: This part is where I would normally rant on about how every Aussie macro Lager looks the same and there’s no telling them apart with their clear golden bodies and pissy white heads that fizzle out to nothing, but instead I’m just going to hum the theme to the A-Team – da-dada-da da-da-da (etc…). 4/10.

S: The smell of many RSL bar floors bring back memories of me ordering a crappy bourbon and coke instead – grainy malts, corn, vegetal matter (Pride of Ringworm hops) and crisp Tasmanian spring water (if you believe the marketing). It’s really difficult to get excited about drinking this. 4/10.

T: Annnnd – it tastes like a glass of soda water – big surprise. It’s really difficult to identify anything beer related in the profile, but I’m sure if I could it would taste as I’ve described the aromas above; grainy, corny, adjuncty and vegetaly. Kind of glad it does taste like soda water now. 4/10.

M: The worst point of this and every Australian macro Lager – high carbonation, watery and light body. 3/10.

D: Well you could drink a hundred of these and not get drunk, but then you’ll end up puking before you near the end of a case, so what’s the point? The point is we drink light beers so we can be socially responsible and drive our friends home whilst remaining under the legal limit Doc. Screw that, just drink nicer full-strength beers slower and enjoy yourself within the bounds of MODERATION rather than have a shitty time with this soda water-flavoured beer. All that said – this is still one of the best Australian Light Lagers – which is not unlike the ‘best prison shanking’ i.e. the best of a bad lot. 4/10.

Food match: Does it really matter what you have with this beer? No.

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