Cervecería Regional Zulia

Total Score:  3.8/10 Corn1Barley1CutGrass1Stein1

If you’re wondering: I got this bottle of Cervecería Regional Zulia for free, it looks ripe for a total slam review by moi, however as always I will try to find merits in this Venezuelan Lager wherever they reside. That said: Green bottles are never a great idea for any brew (though they’re a bit better than clear bottles in preventing lightstruck beer IIRC). Hmmm, I think, yes it is – this is the first Venezuelan beer I’ve ever reviewed, not exactly a brewing powerhouse those Venezuelans, not a hell of a lot of competition going up against Zulia as far as I can tell. Guess Rum is the Venezuelan drink de choix.

Poured from a 330ml green bottle into a stein.

A: Clear pale yellow, like the colour of reasonably healthy urine – they should put that on a slogan – body with a white sea foam 1 centimetre head that sticks around reasonably well. Looks OK, smells – even with the glass sitting 30 centimetres away from me – foul (but we’ll get to that soon). 6/10.

S: Vegetal matter, DMS (rotting cabbage) aromas upfront and about as offensive as they can get. Paring with this belligerent reek is an odd and misplaced cotton candy sweetness. Typical of Latin American beers the primary problem is the result of being lightstruck (although that can be a stylistic choice – look at Corona for example). Overall it’s not great here. 2/10.

T: As per most equatorial brews – the closer you are to that line the less you want your beer to taste like a beer and more like a glass of soda water. Zulia is a living/breathing example of that equatorial ethos, being that it tastes 95% like a glass of soda water. Sadly the other 5% is a mixture of the above with corn and grainy notes. At least it isn’t as offensive as I was expecting, almost drinkable, if a tad boring. 4/10.

M: Light bodied with a decently fizzy carbonation to back it up. 5/10.

D: It’s not as terrible as I was expecting… though that was probably the lowest bar I set for a beer so the fact that it was able to make it as barely passable at all should come as no surprise. It is what it is: A cheap, boring, slightly inoffensive, corny, vegetable water – which you may as well pass up for any other drink you can get your hands on if you’re traveling through Venezuela and one which you would outright avoid as a waste of time if you’re not traveling through Venezuela. Yes, I drain poured the remainder. 4/10.

Food match: One of those meat pocket things they do so well over there.

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