Fix Hellas

Total Score: 5.5/10 CutGrass1Barley1GreenMelon1Stein1

When did having too much beer in my fridge become a problem? *BING BING BING* Since living with flat-mates is the correct answer, now on to double jeopardy where the scores can really change [to borrow a semi-obscure Die Hard reference]. So yeah, Fix Hellas, sounds like the sort of beer you buy your plumber in a classic Trappist Ale shaped bottle too – perhaps that is to get his/her* hopes up before they open the bottle to discover a boring Lager… who knows.

Poured from a 330ml bottle into a stein.

A: Clear golden body, ho-hum, with a thin soap-bubble white head *yawn*. Standard cheap Lager shenanigans I can assure you. I’ve nary seen a head so quick to leave in a long while. 4/10.

S: Grainy nose, with an intriguing sweet hospital disinfectant note to it – never noticed that in a beer before – proving that even with your bajillionth macro Lager tasting you may still note something unique. Huh there’s almost a honeydew melon character as well. 5/10.

T: Not the worst macro Lager I’ve had. This one is inoffensive, but a bit on the meandering side. Flavours of cereal grains, cut grass and a light honeydew note, with a finish that is reasonably dry and bready with a slight touch of bitterness. Again I’ve had much, much worse *cough*VB*cough*. 6/10.

M: Mid to light bodied with an almost flat carbonation. Needs a bit more carbonation to classify itself as a Lager. 4/10.

D: Overall it wasn’t a nasty surprise, though it’s not something I will probably ever see again. If I recall correctly I preferred Mythos if we’re talking about crappy Greek macro Lagers, but in the absence of any other beer whilst holidaying in Corfu I wouldn’t make a fuss drinking this. It’s one of your typical hot weather Lagers in that it needs to be drunk ice cold and quickly to slake that budgie smuggling beach going thirst ASAP [!!!]. So yeah, avoid mostly except in hot – Greek – weather where you have little access to anything else, a winner in my books! 6/10.

Food match: Get into a spanakopita already ya monkey! Seriously thinking about a fried haloumi Gyros right now – damn you awesome Greek food!

*Women can be plumbers too, though I’ve yet to see one I imagine they have bum cracks to show off as well.

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