Heretic Shallow Grave Porter

Total Score: 7.9/10 Chocolate1Coffee1Smoke1Tulipglass1

Review #666: So I decided to give the devil his due and review a hellish themed brew. The only beer I could find on short notice (I really should have thought ahead hey) is this Heretic Shallow Grave Porter… amazingly fresh as it was brewed on 08.03.16! Wait, that’s a “15” at the end… oh yeah and Americans use some weird dating system that goes month/day/year – WTF is with that anyway?! So 3rd August 2015… oh well, it’ll be fine… and I must add that my evil twin/editor: Melvin will be editing this review so we can all bask in the joy of his [evil] comments.

Poured from a 650ml bottle into a Duvel tulip.

A: A rich deep [as the chasm we all face without our glorious master] dark chocolate body with a nice 1 cm tan head that slowly dissolves to a thin lace ring, that is quite tasty looking. 8/10.

S: Hmmm, quite chocolatey upfront and all over with milk and dark chocolate notes, some dark fruits as well, dark shoes? Nope, none of them… but a dark something else gives this dark Porter an overall foreboding sense of delight and dread – the two D’s of dark beer brewing [you will obey the dark lord]. Hints of smoke [like a smouldering village destroyed by the dark one for those who would disobey him] add an extra tasty dimension. 7/10.

T: Chocolate upfront, milk and dark, with a red coffee cherry note providing some hint of bitterness and a smoky character as well. Overall it hits all the right Stout/Porter flavour buttons [like the buttons on the jacket of our supreme deity], and at 7% this is an impressively bold ale right on the cusp of the flavours you would get in a Russian Imperial Stout. Another sip reveals a hint of booze but it’s the sort of thing grandma would hide in the Christmas pudding and tasty, it’s like a big soft boozy chocolate brownie. 8/10.

M: Medium bodied with a tight creamy [like our master’s fettuccine carbonara – he likes creamy Italian dishes] carbonation, top points here this is about as good a mouthfeel as you will get in any Porter. 9/10.

D: Honestly this one is getting off easy being called a “Porter” as it is more like a Russian [like Rasputin, one of the dark lord’s minions] Imperial Stout, and of all the Porters I’ve come across this is definitely one of the best – compare it to a RIS however and it’s average, so there you go. What’s in a name? Would a Porter by any other name taste as sweet; perhaps? Who knows. 8/10.

Food match: Anything rich and beefy [and evil… hail the dark one!].

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