XXXX Gold Australian Pale Ale

Total Score: 3.75/10 Lemon1Barley1Corn1Nonicpint1

Dear God what have XXXX *ahem*Kirin*cough* wrought?! This time it’s an Australian Pale Ale (or as I like to abbreviate it: TOAPA “The Other APA”). Australian Pale Ale is fast becoming synonymous for piss-weak Pale Ale imitators, and this mid-strength from XXXX is unlikely to break the trend, but hey that’s why I review these beers – so you don’t have to waste your hard earned crust on them, you can thank me later [don’t worry I didn’t pay for this stubbie either – my Dad drinks this ****].

Poured from a 375ml bottle into a nonic pint.

A: Clear straw yellow body with a white cappuccino foam half centimetre head. Looks alright but the colour is more in the vicinity of a Lager, in fact I have little doubt in my mind that this is actually brewed as a Lager with some hops added. 5/10.

S: Citrus forward with a strained chemical lemon note, maybe this won’t be so bad after all? Who am I kidding this is going to be a grainy struggle of a brew. Apart from the overly faux lemon note it smells like a glass of soda water (not unlike original XXXX Gold) I have enough trouble picking up aromas in beers without these piss-weak mid-strength brews knocking about. 4/10.

T: Yep, it’s a grainy/chemical lemon mash job. Tastes a bit like cleaning product or a very cheap Radler – the world has enough of those btw. Finish is crisp as advertised on the bottle, but little else is right with this fake and offensive drop. In fact I would take a regular XXXX Gold over this any day of the week – at least then I’m just contending with crappy Aussie grain adjuncts, nope XXXX you can keep your lemon flavouring, I’ll have a real Pale Ale instead. 4/10.

M: Watery/light bodied with some violent carbonation – it was a burp a every 10 seconds drinking this – the fizz is dense and sharp too, didn’t go well with that chemical lemon note. 3/10.

D: So to sum up its XXXX Gold with some shitty lemon additive, thanks Kirin! [insert rant about Australian Pale Ales giving Australia a bad reputation!] Or I guess I could just type up my rant now? But I really do grow tired of the crap Macro brewers brewing crap Lagers (or Lagers masquerading as Ales) so really what is the point: They will keep brewing them and I will keep ranting about them, the circle of life continues… time to go drain pour this abomination. 3/10.

Food match: The sink.

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