Cerveza Tecate

Total Score: 5.05/10 Corn1 GreenApple1 Barley1 PokalStange1

Corona’s had it easy with stablemates such as Sol and that-other-cheap-one-I-see-everywhere-but-whose-name-escapes-me, at least you can put a wedge of lime in the bottle and add some flavour to non-existent nothing Lager it is. Now it’s time for Tecate – which I hear tell is also salvaged by the addition of lime… “It’s times like this I wonder why I even review beer” he said knowingly to glass of amber soda pop in front of him.

Poured from a 355ml can into the cheapest, plainest drinking glass I could find.

A: Clear straw yellow body with a wispy 1 cm white head which soon reduces to a light sea foam covering. Not a bad looking Adjunct Lager… not fantastic either, but then again we never expected it to be did we Steve? Damn straight. 6/10.

S: Cabbage and cider apples with a cereal grain backing… wow this really suffers without a lime even in the aroma – there is little redeeming Tecate at this stage. The cabbage note increases as the beer warms so plug your nose and drink it quick is what the Dr recommends. 4/10.

T: Cider apples, corn with a hint of HFCS (Americans know this one well: High Fructose Corn Syrup – which for unfamiliar Australian readers has a refined sugar syrup taste). Finish is ever slightly dry and granular. Aftertaste is quickly forgotten with a trace of metal. Look overall the flavour isn’t as shit as expected. 5/10.

M: Mid to light bodied with a fizzy carbonation that goes flat surprisingly quick. 5/10.

D: I’ve certainly had worse Lagers than this, and I could imagine the chilled brew/hot day dichotomy working in the favour of Tecate… and ‘yes’ a lime would factor into the equation too. Will it ever replace Corona as my “It’s bloody hot on this beach – drinking beer is a good idea right now” Lager? No, but the scores are very close indeed – Corona just edges this brew out as my middle of summer Lager*. 6/10.

Food match: Nachos… or something else Mexican… and yes I am getting lazy with these suggestions, shuddup.

*Bear in mind [quick if it’s a brown bear: play dead] an Australian summer makes most summers feel tame by comparison (with highs of +38 Celsius/+100 Fahrenheit not uncommon) and a cold Adjunct Lager goes down a treat in this climate.

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