Total Score: 5.05/10
Uh-oh: Browar Amber, brewers of the delightful Koźlak Bock-that-is-really-a-Doppel (and the soul crushingly bad Grand Imperial Porter) are the ones who brewed this Chilli Beer, and the base it would seem is their Porter that-isn’t-really-a-Porter-but-don’t-tell-Browar-Amber-because-that-would-make-them-sad… well looks like it’s time to set my beer-review-phasers to disappointment [if such a piece of technology existed] which is a shame because the bottle appeared to be one of my all-time favourite flavour mixes – chocolate and chilli, and we all know Browar Ambers track record for their beers tasting NOTHING like what is on the label.
Poured from a 500ml bottle into a Duvel tulip.
A: Presents a deep brown-black body with a nice 1 cm khaki head that slowly drops back to a thin lace covering – for an 8% ABV brew that is not bad at all. 8/10.
S: Chilli spice on the nose, so there’s a chilli aroma in this “Chilli Beer”, I’m somewhat surprised by this odd turn of consistency between the bottle label and the beer contained within by Browar Amber. From there it’s all truckload of dark fruits, brown sugar and bread… well that’s what we were actually expecting Browar Amber *clap-clap*. 5/10.
T: Painfully sweet upfront, my teeth ache under the weight of all this sugar, with wow – an actual slight chilli kick (though it could be bigger) and those classic BA GIP flavours: Brown sugar, fig, dates, raisin and bread, yes, yes, like some kind of Polish fruit-cake in a glass – we’ve seen it all before Browar Amber… from you funnily enough. The finish is piccante with a hint of bitterness that struggles to contain all that sugar. 5/10.
M: Mid to light bodied, slightly watery, with an almost flat carbonation [I literally copy/pasted this from the Grand Imperial Porter review]. 4/10.
D: Well it is exactly Grand Imperial Porter, with a hint of chilli… though I will rate it more highly because of its inclusion of chilli, and because I happen to like chilli, it is still a highly flawed beer that really should be forcing Browar Amber to look up what a Porter actually is lest I shout at them: “FOR F__K SAKE JUST BUY SOME TINS OF COOPERS STOUT AND DO A BATCH OF THAT ALREADY!!!”. If you haven’t already tried Browar Amber’s Grand Imperial Porter – I will say: DO NOT TRY, and in the case of Grand Imperial Porter Chili – I will say: do not try [see how it’s in lower case]. Another Browar Amber miss to add to your collection. 5/10.
Food match: I really hope you saved your Insulin shots from the BA GIP review.