Pabst Blue Ribbon

Total Score: 5.5/10 Corn1 Barley1 CutGrass1 Stein1

Pabst Blue Ribbon or “PBR” is one of the last big macros I am yet to wrap my gob around and also infamously known as a hipster beer – I am the actually the original hipster before being a hipster was pseudo-cool and then not cool again, i.e. the rise and fall of hipsterism. So it is only natural that I should be reviewing this brew with the various hipster powers at my disposal [hipster powers include: wearing an op-shop trilby and blazer from the 1940’s, knowing where all the best cafés with free Wi-Fi are, and hipster vision: the ability to spot the best value for money meal at any restaurant… essentially it means being cheap]. Let’s do this thing!

Poured from a 473ml (WTF kind of size is that???) can into a Stein.

A: Pale clear, dare I say: urine yellow, with a huge 2 inch foamy white head that doesn’t seem to want to recede. It’s very light coloured, lighter than most Lagers – and they’re one of the lightest of styles. 7/10.

S: Quite adjuncty with corn notes to the fore, hints of grain, cut grass, faint hops (in a Lager?! *spits*) and that classic metallic cheap Lager character which shines on through the aroma. It’s not the worst cheap Lager I’ve ever whiffed but likewise it ain’t winning any awards. 5/10.

T: Grainy up front on the palate, bit of dirty vegetal and cut grass hops, some sweet corn to balance it out… actually tastes more like an Aussie macro Lager than an American one (Carlton Draught springs to mind)… in that respect I’m not impressed and would easily take a cheap German Lager like Oettinger Pils over this. Finish is dry and the aftertaste has a slight cloying corn sweetness that reconfirms its status as a cheap Adjunct Lager pas cher. 5/10.

M: Mid to light body with that aforementioned slight cloying and a medium carbonation. 7/10.

D: PBR is one of the OK crap beers – a gold turd if you will. The cloy from the sweet corn is a tad overdone and it could be a bit crisper, otherwise this is one of those beers you’ll see in the cooler at a party [possibly a hipster party] and your mate bro says “help yourself to a beer” and it’s PBR, Miller Draft, Coors or any light beer (this is a party in the US BTW)… in this situation go with PBR. What if you want a decent Lager to drink at home? Kozel Premium, Löwenbräu and Stella Artois have you covered. 6/10.

Food match: Hot dogs and hamburgers – US style!

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